just one phone call can make you go crazy…make you think alot, make you smile, make you cry, make you go nuts, make you think alot..make you wonder shit over and over again..mess your mind up and make you think more and then you have a headache and then you need sleep…but when you try to sleep…your mind is working overtime…till your temples throb…then you get angry at this person for calling you but honestly, some part of you is really happy…why? exactly!! why??? why does it make you happy…when the veins in your brain are already gonna pop…its like…..arghhhhh……… i honeslty do not know how to explain this…but i will try to in this way
“There was a time when you needed someone to count onYou needed someone to count on, somebody to care
Now she’s here, nothin’ seems to matterShe’s so near, everything is betterCan’t explain, somethin’ that you’re feelin’For the very first time”
so there you are all happy and ladee da….right and this is what happens after that…you cant get this person out of your system and you realise…
“I’m addicted to ya babe
You’re a hard habit to break”
now you know…ohhhh….you really now know now you’re sucked into this whole spideyweb shit..and you realise, you cant handle this kinda thing…cause you become way too dependant on this person….WAY TOOO DEPENDANT!! so what is the first thing you do..??? PANIC! and then you know what you gotta do…
“It’s a drag..I know it’s hard
But you’re tearing her apart
Walk away cause you’re breaking up the girl”
funny how you thought you wanted something, and then you got it…but you had to lose smth in order to get it…then you know, that what you had at first was smth you always wanted…so you make a big boo boo…a fucking big boo boo and you try your best to regain what you lost..
“Hold me now
It’s hard for me to say
I’m sorryI just want you to stay
After all that we’ve been through
I will make it up to youI promise to
And after all that’s been said and done
You’re just the part of me I can’t let go”
everything is all good and dandy now……fucking fantastic….whooopeeee dooo…….everything seem to have falled into place….everything…. life is perfect honestly….out of the blue..this happens….
“Well, you called me up this morning
Told me ‘bout the new love that you found
Said, “I’m happy for you. I’m really happy for you.
“Found someone else, I guess I won‘t be coming ‘round
I guess it’s over, baby
It’s really over, baby,
And from what you‘re sayingI
know you‘ve gotten over me
It’ll never be the way it used to be
So if it’s gotta be this way
Don‘t worry, baby, I can take the news okay”
of course i can take the news okay….i can handle it. after all it was just a small thing..nothing much…we were just having fun. i mean, u suddenly call up and tell me this..and then i hear ure getting married…why wld i be sad or upset….good for you!! but i just wanted to know why??????????????????????? LIAR
“She said she’d always be there
She said she’d always care
But just when you think that you can trust that someone you love
Tell me why do you know How stars can fall from above
‘Cause you made promises that you couldn’t keep
But you’re not hurting yourself but only hurting me
Why would you say things that you really didn’t mean
how can I make you see just what you did to me”
well then…..naturally, the heart, mind and soul does heal in time to come..with family and frens and you know you are doing alright..whatever happened is nicelu tucked away in the right hand side of the heart…and so….
” life goes on, and it’s only gonna make me strong
Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can’t go back
it’s a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I’m at, is my life before me, got this feeling that I can’t go back”
there you have it…life picking up, the sun is shining, flowers blooming all yr round, birds chirping cause they’ve got a can of worms, happy music constantly in your head..you sing along to the tunes of “lets talk abt sunshine, lets talk abt moonlight….” you think of sharkbait and pity the fool and laugh over and over by yourself…weird..but your mind is peaceful…calm like the ocean breeze…..and of course too much of fucking calm breeze is just not right..so thunderstorms will come down, lightning will strike..not the coconut tree, me! and then waves keep swirling you round and round till you puke whatever you ate..worse still….while you are stuck in the middle of the deep ocean with great whites and your puke and terrible headache and you feel like you are in the washing machine…somehow..you hear a phone ring…yep the bloody phone…now hp are waterproof esp when you are sucked in shit like this….that voice..just that voice alone..can make everything stop…every fucking thing stop..no more coconuts, no more washing machine ocean….silence..and that voice alone can either life you back to civilisation or just fucking drown you…..right now,
” Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad,
Cause it’s all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it
yeah ..I can’t shake it
I can’t wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes……..
Now that I’ve realize..
that I’m going down
From all this pain you’ve put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I lock it down
I can’t go on not loving you
Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it’s all in my head”
so to you i give a toast…..congratulations! you have done an amazing job in making a person go insane..for letting me experience all kind of feelings, some of which i never knew existed…only you cld make me go thru this turmoil of weird unwanted feelings and yet still…still make me love you…so run along now, into your happy fucking bubble…cause stupid me will still be here for you.
