Magical Tipsy Toes

Ok, this is it! The final showdown between Sharkbait and the 3 firebreathing dragons. It has been an ongoing battle for the past 2 days. We are now in the 2nd half of play. Sharkbait looks like she is going in for the kill. She looks at Mr Whitedog, he is at the printer, figuring out if the payment notification will look better in white or yellow paper? Sharkbait hesitates; she knows she can take him down in a second. He is distracted; Printerjuinor is giving a problem..what should Sharkbait do? Ms Longlegs is in front of her fixing the air-con, how long will she be at it? After all it’s been 10 mins…how hard is it to control the air-con with a remote control?? Sharkbait turns around and sees Ms FaceInTheMud Would she come in here? Will Sharkbait have time to finish this blog entry. Considering she normally blogs while in the office… Mr Whitedog lifts his hand in frustration and Sharkbait immediately takes position and attacks, sending massive printouts to printer jamming all Mr Whitedog’s printouts… hahaha….SCORE!!! That bugger will have to wait a long while before he thinks of calling Sharkbait back to work on a fricking Sunday.

Sharkbait grins slyly at her corner, calculating her next move. Who will it be? Ms Longlegs has her back to Sharkbait.. The air-con is getting way too cold that ice starts to form and water drips to the carpet. Hmm….Sharkbait makes her move quietly as possible… stands up from her seat and shouts “OH MAN! Look at that, the air-con making ice”. Startled, Ms Longlegs still busy with the remote control, she turns around instead of looking up. She glares at Sharkbait and questions “Where got la?” and what do you know, water starts dripping on her head and on her clothes…Ahh…the sounds of despair from the boss.. Classic… whoo hoooo! Another brilliant shot by Sharkbait!!!!!!!!! The Icedinyourface shot! Fantastic.

Sharkbait tries desperately to calm down. Her heart beating way too fast. She reaches into her pocket and holds onto to her last cigarette, her salvation, her only refuge for today..It has brought her good luck. She sits back down, pretends to look at her computer intensely. She looks focus, calm.. Her mind working overtime and she eyes her next victim…like an elephant eyeing the last peanut. This is it, this is her moment.

Ms FaceInTheMud caves…finally the need to pee arise. She makes a hasty dash to the toilet outside of the office.. Sharkbait gets up coolly and tells her other 2 bosses she is gonna take her much needed break now. Sharkbait feels her pocket again, her fingers clasped the cigarette and she feels strangely comforted..Sharkbait walks out of the office. The glass door closes. Sharkbait’s done it!! It was indeed a SHARKBAIT HOOPLA SHOT!!!!!

Slowly Sharkbait grins to herself and starts laughing out loud. She walks out on the road, to her corner to have her time..She lights her cigarette..and burst out laughing..Taking out from her pocket, a beige card. Simple and yet very important. The Access Card for the office. For staff to get in and out of office. A very important card for each staff. 3 firebreathing dragons forgot their cards today, the 3 big bosses. Forgot their fricking cards….ahhh….this is good. Sharkbait will take her time, savor this moment, and savor this cig..all 3 stuck..cannot go in, cannot come out.. After all, if Sharkbait can go thru the Ring of Fire, the 3 dragons dun stand a chance…

These pest arrive when you least expect it. They are disgusting. They make your skin crawl. They catch you off guard, when you least expect it. They are selfish bastards. The love to scare you. Unreasonable creatures. Sometimes, when you walking along the road they suddenly crawl out of the drain and and scare the living daylights outta you. And then you scream and you look like a fool. I detest them…bastards.

Was hanging clothes last night, humming to myself, was relaxed and happy..and then…the bastard creature flew across me and I screamed. Fricking scared the shit outta me. I dropped the clothes in the bucket…ok maybe some on the floor, but who cares, I was being attacked. I ran. Ran into my kitchen, bumped into the dustbin and fell. sigh…i fell.. There was no pain. At least not right then..because it was more important to find out if the damn roach was behind me. As luck would have it, There was another one taking a stroll from my neighnours house. I am telling you, the previous owner(Physhoranincoatwoman) probably breeds them creatures as a hobby.

This is not the first time the Roach gang made a visit. Their friends made a visit about a month back, probably dropping by to say Hi and hey..lets go to Sharkbaits’ for a party. The roaches were crawling from that house over to mine like they were on some kinda of excursion.

Gang Roach Leader : “Alright troops, are we ready?”

One feeler Roach : “We are all set boss, where we going?”

Gang Roach Leader : ” We gonna make a housecall. We shall say Hi
to our neighbours. I checked out the place and they
do not have cats and their dogs just laze around
friendly ladies too, they welcome us by sniffing
and then they walk away”

Drunkard Roach : “yaay bosshh lethh uss geth goingth..”

Bastards! These creatures just will NOT die. So there I was, all dressed to go to bed standing in the kitchen…a towel over my head(so they cannot fly into my hair) one hand armed with a broom and the other with the Baygone pest spray. And I was all set for war. I killed 2 of them with the broom. It was a good broom… I was left with Baygone, considering it was only half full..i was taking a risk. But I sprayed like there was no tomorrow. Sprayed till I was choking and coughing. I think if i continued, I honestly might have died faster than those bastards. But I scared them away…

I sprayed the back and I sprayed my neighbours house. All over their walls so Gang Roach will never enter Sharkbait’s house. But I know I am fighting a losing battle. These bastards can be tricky and they’ve got wings. But till then, I gotta go get myself a new broom and stock up on at least 5 bottles of Baygone! You just never know when you might need backup. I am thinking knee guards too…