Magical Tipsy Toes

I give up!! i do…i dun understand this…ok..maybe i do not understand alot of things…but honestly, this one…this one is MIND BOGGLING!!!! INSANE!!!! FUCKED UP!!!! you see, the Mentally Dsyfunctionally irritant of SingaSongofSixpence is in love with the word FINE! they like..no no..they love the word fine….one wld think that fine is a brilliant word… many many nice meanings to the word fine…. let me explain in detail with the help of Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Nice meaning of FINE : very well,free from impurity,very thin in gauge or
texture,not coarse,very precise or accurate,
delicate, subtle, or sensitive in quality
(a fine distinction) marked by or affecting elegance

THE OTHER MEANING : a sum imposed as punishment for an offense,
OF FINE a forfeiture or penalty paid to an injured party
in a civil action

So….i am being fined because, BECAUSE…i am unable to attend a company function. No, not cause i do not want too, not cause i just love to get myself into trouble..and not cause i like to be FINED. The reason why i would not be able to attend the function because, Sharkbait’s got tickets for a basketball game! A BASKETBALL GAME! FRONT ROW TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you hearing me ppl….FRONT FREAKING ROW!! With real, I mean REAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS coming to Singapore. Not those tao-geh(bean-sprouts) you see playing in the community clubs. Real players, real men, with an authentic basketball in their hands, with the huge score boards, with the huge No 1 finger..people in the stands shouting “Defense, Defense, Defense” FOXs sports will be showing it live in Australia!!! This is important to me! VERY IMPORTANT!! So i told the relevant department in-charge and said I cant make it…not only did i tell them that, I also told them way before the closing date for ppl who are unable to make it.. let me cut and paste what they said in the email…then you tell me if im being too much….” Please let us know in advance if you are unable to make it” So when i called that department, you know what they said…you know what she said…. “Too bad lor, must go sell your tickets la, the committee dun agree…you must either fly away leh or be warded in hospital. Then only we know you cant make la” Ms NOFUCKINGIDEA!!!!! She can tell me…if you not happy with the decision, TOO BAD! cause in the end, they will fine me…FINE FUCKING ME! for A FUCKING DINNER THAT I DO NOT WANT TO GO FOR!!!

Ohhh…im so mad now!! i cant think straight!! and you guys wonder why i slack off work, why i cant be fucking bothered with them anymore….why sometimes, its just not worth my time to hang ard here longer than i shld…to do so fucking much that just for 1 day….for 1 day, when Sharkbait has a MAJOR event in which she followed the proper procedures so that they will understand, they fuck it up!! they want to fine me….honestly..if you look it one way…its damn hilarious…funny!!! Blllooody funny….but then…you ask..so Sharkbait, how much the fine?? Small matter like this might as well pay them later right….the breakdown:

Trip from home to office on 28 jan’05 : $8.90

Trip from office to home on 28 jan’05 : $7.60

Trip from home to Basketball game : $6.00

Fine for not going for Stupid Event : $200

Going to to BBall game with : PRICELESS!!
JB, Dubai, CFB

So you singasongofsixpence…I, Sharkbait will not be going for the comp dinner..cause i told you i was not going…you want to deduct, deduct la…ok…cut everything from me..take my clothes also la….what else you want? You want my watch, jewellery also…take them….undergarments all you want…take…let me help you pack the bag of my shit, of my money…..you want my organs…you need money right? my kidney might fetch a good price..take it! But…. I tell you this NOW!! You can forget about your notebook, your pens, your scotch-tape, your liquid paper, all the CD-R disc…all the notes i have so nicely filed and photocopied…all the paper clips…and you will never ever get back THE STAPLER!!!!! to hell with you, you MoneySucking Fool!!!!! I spit at you…and man…I PITY THE FOOL THAT YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

office supplies..why in the world do you steal or take other ppl’s office supply when you have your own? Why? what is wrong with these ppl? I like my pens, stapler, I am not selfish…i am not in love my stationary..just ask me la, i will lend…even if i am not there you can take it but just put it back…no need to put back the way you found it..just put it on my table!! Simple right???? so when Sharkbait is doing her work quietly, esp when she is in the zone…and that is rare…take and put back la please. cause i have a system..a good one..take memo, take timetable, staple them, put in envelope….but i cant do that system cause my damn stapler is bloody missing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, I have my name written the stapler with a name sticker too…so what, your name is Sharkbait now is it??

So at 12.45pm, i told myself, i need to get to the bottom of this madness… of course, borrowing staplers from these ppl is like borrowing their souls..selfish bastards. so i went in search for my stapler!! my stapler… one wld ask, Sharkbait, just go request one from the admin side..of course any normal person wld do that and i did…but once again, I will tell you why that wun work… in order for one to get a stapler, one has to declare back the previous stapler…so what happens if you lose your stapler, you need to pay 5blinking bucks for a fricking stapler…

Sharkbait : Hi Sharkbait here, my stapler is gone. Im requesting for a stapler
please.

StaplerPolice : Where is your stapler?
(In HQ)

Sharkbait : Somebody took it and probably lost it i guess..i dunno

StaplerPolice : You have to return the old stapler to get a new one

Sharkbait : But i dun have my old stapler??? How can i return one?

StaplerPolice : Dunno leh…we need your old stapler as proof.

Sharkbait : *abt to kill myself* righhtt…its ok, u need my old lost stapler as proof that i lost it?? *WHAT THE FUCK*

StaplerPolice : Remember hoh, if you need stapler and if spoil or lost, must pay fine..

Sharkbait : No la…i bluff, i din lose my stapler at all…just call for fun.
*bangs down the fone*

I investigated this matter… only to find that…each one in this department of the Mentally Dsyfunctionally Institute of Singasongofsixpence was not using their own stapler..

Mr Monkey had Ms Shoutalot’s stapler, Ms Shoutalot had Mr Blurcock’s, Mr Blurcock does not know what a stapler is, he likes paper clips. Ms Preggie had Ms Moody’s stapler, Ms Moody has Mr White Dog’s stapler. Mr White Dogs does not own a stapler he has a stapler secretary. And sooo…i could not take it… i just borrowed from Mr Cuteass with promises after promises to return it..

As I was stapling my letters with a mix of confusion and madness, i realise that the stapler felt damn weird and bulky..like way too much scotch tape over it and it was irritating me..so i peeled off the tape thinking i will help him do it nicely, put his name all properly on the stapler cause he lend me all…be nice right?? .. but the more i started peeling off the scotch tape,.. i had a gut feeling.. so i peeled layer by layer..wah lau…alot bulls…BUT!!!!! what do you know…there it was…. SHARKBAIT!!!!!!!!!!! my name was on the stapler!! it was my FRICKING stapler….MINE!!!!! SHESSH!!!

I will return him that stapler with my name on it…so he will know that i know.. he can take..i dun want it, the damned thing… he can take the stapler and staple his arse…in the meantime, i’ll just go get myself a new stapler…. StaplerPolice can go fuck a tree for all i care… Only 1 Word for all these things…1 word