Magical Tipsy Toes

It was kept in the box. It was a medium size box with a cover. She remembered it all too clearly today. She thought she had kept the box hidden. She tried to forget where she kept the box. She wanted to forget the contents in the box. It was hard to forget. It was hard to move away from the box. But she managed it. After all, she will always have the memories and that was enough for her. So she tied up the box with a ribbon. A velvet one. Never expecting it to be re-open again.

Time went by, the memory of box was vague and yet, sometimes at night..she felt the presence of the box. She always brushed it aside. She just moved on with her life. Not realizing that she would have stumbled on another box. She was surprised by its appearance at first. It was alittle dented around the edges. The sides were slightly smeared with black markers. Although, she didn’t really think much of this box. She felt that there was something about this particular box..she didn’t know what it was..but she knew there was something. She decided she should see what this box was all about.

She peered inside and was taken aback by what she saw and felt. She wanted to pull back immediately but she couldn’t. She wanted to see more. She looked deeper and deeper…Intrigued and slightly afraid of what she might find. But the box kept giving her suprise after surprise. It kept making her want more…She was addicted. Each time she looked inside, the more she felt herself let go. The more at ease she was with herself. She wanted to be a part of the box. So for each item the box produced, she gave back triple the amount. Never expecting anything in return. She had fallen in love with the box and its contents. And she gave all of herself to the box in hopes that one day, she was able to take away the smudges, smoothen out the dented area.

However, one day, without any reasons or explanations….the box decided to close itself up. And had immediately moved away from her. It tied itself up. So that she would not try to open it. She tried…she tried many times but she became tired. She sat beside the box…the box that made her smile, that made her love….made her give all of herself. No explanation was given. It just happen. Just like how she just happen to stumbled upon it. She thought it was all her fault. She made the box unhappy. She felt so stupid. So foolish. She blamed herself…and for a long while, she wondered what she did wrong. She couldn’t put this box away…she can’t…because, when it tied itself up, it had tied her with all of its contents inside.

While her thoughts, her energy were spent on trying to push away this box. The box with the velvet ribbon started to loosen. The presence of the velvet ribbon box brushed against her from time to time, but she thought nothing of it..she was still looking at the smaller box in dismay. Although, the box seemed farther away from her now..she still could see it.

The velvet ribbon box has now untied itself…the box still has its cover on. It’s the ribbon that’s untied. It has come out of its hiding place though and placed right in front of her. Confusion overwhelms her…She never expected the velvet ribbon to untie itself..but it did. And now its right in front of her. Waiting for her to open it again…She wants to. Then again, she doesn’t want to..She’s not sure. Her head starts hurting at all these thoughts. She stares at the velvet ribbon box in front of her. She looks up and sees in a distance….the smaller box that had tied itself so tightly.

She holds the velvet ribbon box in her hands and she starts to cry. She’s afraid to feel this much again. She doesn’t know what to do…She wants to push both boxes far away from her…but she can’t. Its right in front of her…here, now.

She trembles as she holds the velvet ribbon that had secured her memories…she wonders what she should do. She’s just realized that she’s not ready to open up the box that she had so carefully hid.

She can’t face its contents now because, right now…the smaller box, with the smudges and dents, the same box that had tied itself up away from her..had also tied her heart and all of her, inside with its contents without her knowing.

It’s happening again. She thought it had stopped. She was wrong, again. It’s worse this time round…she can’t stop the bleeding. She tried but its still bleeding. The tissue paper soaked right thru. Blood trickling down her arm. Her head is throbbing like crazy. She feels sick. Dizzy. There is no pain now. She can’t feel the pain anymore.

She wondered what she did wrong. How did she end up like this. She wished she didn’t exist. She wished she died today. Now. She wants to scream but her throat is sore. It wasn’t suppose to be like this. Things were suppose to be better.

She can’t stop crying. She starts whimpering as she tries to get off the floor onto the bed. The room is a mess. She hates this life. Tears fall…anger seeps in. She feels the rage in her. She feels weak and disgusted. She looks across the room..Bloodshot eyes and a bloody mouth reflection stares back at her. She feels the anger raging in her..She clenches the sheets in her fist. She flings the lamp across the room and lets out a cry of anger and pain.

Promises. Promises made. Promises broken. She was a fool to believe. A fool to trust again and again. A bloody fool. She should have known better.

He promised not to hit again, he lied. He promised not to throw things when he gets angry, he lied. He promised to try control his temper, he lied. He promised they’ll talk it out everytime they had a problem, he lied. He promised, he will try harder the next time, he lied. He promised never, ever to raise his hands again on her again, he lied. Over and over again. He lied.

“I love you, Through all of the uncertainties and trials of the present and future. I promise to guide and protect you.” - He Lied.