Magical Tipsy Toes

I didn’t really believe in magical anymore. I had grown tired of wishing, hoping and praying. I needed to accept that the stars would never be mine.

I did want it so damn much. But I was scared of being disappointed. That maybe, just maybe..I might get lucky.

Because of their prayers, I calmed down a bit, ok so maybe I was edgy and on tippy toes. I just needed everything to be ok. And they made everything ok.

So, they tried to come up with plans…ways to see if I could get out. To escape. To get away from Mentally Dysfunctional Irritants of SingASongOfSixPence. To see if they could cut away the strings that tied me.

And they all did. They shared them with me. With whatever they had. They shared willingly. Because of them, I still believed in magical things, stars, rainbows..cotton candy flowers, the garden that spoke…Bobtop & SkipLou…and the cotton candy machine.

CFB, for always answering my calls at odd hours of the night…for listening to me rant and go crazy. For telling me that I’m capable of so much more when I didn’t really believe anymore. For telling me that my rainbow is always, always around the corner. For always calming my mind. Always. For coming down to my office in Dhoby Ghaut to just be around. For waiting a few meters away while I’m dying at the roadshow..but knowing you’re around the corner made it bearable. Thank you for your prayers, your hugs & laughter and for being you. I love you, babe.

PP, for your constant support and advise. For knowing what to say. For you telling me it’ll work out. For working out the hr details. Messaging me during work to keep me sane. For coming down to visit, even if it was for just 2mins. For taking the time to wait till I’m done at the roadshow…for being there just in cases. For calling my office and acting like a Gupta. For making me forget why I was angry in the first place. Thank you for your prayers, hugs & smiles. Love you babe.

LMM, for being that crazy baby cousin who would call my office every day just to check up on me. For telling me your horror stories from work to keep me distracted. For making it seem that it was ok for me to go crazy. For always hearing me out and telling me you wanted to kick their ass. For having chicken pie and waiting for me till I’m done with work. For picking me up from work and telling me, “Sharkbait, we’re gonna do something crazee”, and then we’ll end up at my place watching tv. Thank you little behti…cause even though you’re grumpers, you make me laugh. I love you, crazeee.

JB, you always know when to call. Calling my office and acting like there was an emergency just to get me out of a fucked up meeting. Thank for you calling me everyday in the office and telling me that its about time we all do something with our lives. For listening to my weird ass plans of torching the place…of stabbing each brochure with my pen. For getting angry with me when someone stole my peanut butter & cheese sandwich. For telling me I should secure my stapler to my table with a string. For wanting so badly to call Dr BigShot to tell him exactly what you think of him. Thank you for being you and for helping me find that rainbow. For coming up with peanut day. For just being you. Love you, kannah.

OGB, you always make me laugh whenever I call you from the office. For giving me the support I needed and for wanting to tell them to go fuck off. Thank you, GB for just being there, for telling me exactly what I need to hear and wanting to make it all ok. For letting me call you unnecessarily and talk rubbish. For listening to me talk rubbish and letting me irritate you. For coming down to my office and surprising me with yogurt. For helping me fold letters and cleaning my desk. For wanting to help torch the place. For telling me, its about time I fuck all this shit. Thank you GB for being supportive. Love you, babe.

Its because of you guys, I am able to do this today. Able to finally get the fuck outta here and know that it’ll be ok. Because you guys made it ok….

So, Mentally Dysfunctional Irritants of SingASongOfSixPence…

Mother Sharkbait - “I’m going to Bali. Make sure you’re home everyday”

Sharkbait - “I do come home everyday”

Mother Sharkbait - “Thats not what I meant. Don’t be funny with me”

Sharkbait - “But really mum…I am home everyday”

Mother Sharkbait - “If you don’t understand, then no point talking to you”

Father Sharkbait - “Whats happening? Why you not talking to her?”

Mother Sharkbait - “I told her to come home everyday when I’m on holiday.”

Father Sharkbait - “Why, where she staying now?”

Mother Sharkbait - “Never mind.”

Father Sharkbait - “No, if she is staying somewhere, tell me where, whats the matter?”

Sharkbait - “No dad, she just meant that I should be home early I think”

Father Sharkbait - “Very difficult talking to you both. I asked you where are you staying. Just answer the bloody question.”

Sharkbait - “I’m currently living at home, with you guys.”

Mother Sharkbait - “This family is chronic..”

Father Sharkbait - “So thats it…Just explain properly. Next time, don’t involve me. All I wanted was to get my ice-cream.”

Sharkbait (quietly to herself) - “I so gotta blog this one”

I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely
lonely lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I can’tgo back to bed

Just woke from a dream. I had to write about this. Guess I keep watching “What dreams may come” too bloody much it plays on your mind. Tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t.

It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day

I saw you in my dream. I’ve only dreamt about you once. That was almost year back. Maybe its cause I’ve been thinking about you alot. A funny feeling came over me when I woke up. I remembered the dream. I remembered you.

Everybody knows that something’s wrong
But nobody knows what’s going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It’s shaping up to be a lonely day

We were at a coffee place. I don’t remember where exactly. Talking, laughing…I asked how you were..you smiled. I love your smile. I missed your smile. I kept asking you so many questions…how you were..where you been..what was it like..if you were happy. But you didn’t answer my questions. Instead you told me a story. I tried to remember the story…but I can’t. It must have gotten lost in my mind. But I woke up feeling funny…a strange kind of feeling…

I could tell from the minute
I woke up it was going to be a
lonely lonely lonely lonely day

-Phantom Planet, Lonely Day-