I heard at Abby's you have a monkey. I wanna see it. 
The Ressurection
Posted in Miscellaneous on February 27th, 2006So guess what.. Goldie resurrected. Hooray!
So here’s another story.
You see, Goldie’s the kinda fairy who’d trust anyone who was nice to her. She never stopped to think “Hey… maybe there’s an ulterior motive.” Well at least not until now. See, when Goldie was on her way down from that toadstool, she thought to herself “Why the hell am I doing this? I’ll show them. I’ll be back.” And the bloody bitch came back and she came back with a hell of a vengence. Don’t get her wrong; Goldie is actually a really lovely fairy. She’s sweet and she’s nice to everyone around her, always eager to please and never being able to take it if she knows someone is angry with her (very much like Monica when she forgot to invite Rachel’s mother to Rachel’s bridal shower). She would always try to make nice even when she isn’t quite in the mood and she always tries to be a good friend. But sometimes, her good friends are always flying around for honey and rose syrup.
There was a bunch of fools who liked to disguise as fairies, Gobbly Goblins. And so Goldie thought they were fairy friends. But oh they were also very different. They could be really mean too. Yes, evil is what they are. They were very much hated by a lot of other fairies and brownies and elves (yes, we have brought elves into the picture now) the Gobbly Goblins were very powerful. No one wanted to get into their bad books because if you did, oh God help your little fairy soul.
So one day, Goldie decided that she was going to get back at them. “I’ve had enough” she muttered to herself. “Why do these people get away with murder, live happily being evil and the rest of us good folk suffer like rabid dogs with sores? I need to teach them a lesson.” She wasn’t sure how she was going to do this, but she knew that she needed to do this alone because “Damn it, I can’t trust anyone. Not even my other fairy friends because they’ll tell on me too. Bastard fairies. I hope their wings drop off.”
So she put together a master plan. She knew she couldn’t hurt them physically, because these Gobbly Goblins are like the ticks that suck the blood out of your dogs at home. And for those who do have dogs and have had ticks on them before, you would know that those bastards are bloody difficult to kill. Soooo. She decided to beat the Gobbly Goblins at their own game and whippsplash them one by one. She had little secrets about them see, every single one of them, she knew bits of shit that no one else knew. And they’re not the “I stole two sweets from the corner store” sort of secrets, but mind boggling, CRAZY ass secrets like “I actually have a murder plan about this other goblin coz she stole my shoe lace” So you see, the Gobbly Goblins, being the mean evil people that they were, also had secrets they kept from one another and Goldie decided that she was going to reveal all of them!!
MUAHAHAHAA.
But while she thought up this master plan, she realised something. She realised that if she did all that she had planned, she would be stooping to the levels of the Gobbly Goblins and that would make her like one of them. And becoming like one of them is something Goldie knew that she would never be able to live with. So feeling a little bit dejected, but at the same time relieved that she didn’t go through with her plan, she sat by her fireplace, picked up the phone and called Bronzy because Bronzy would know exactly what to say.
So there they were, sitting by her fireplace, Bronzy held Goldie and comforted her. He felt her pain and he wanted too much to make her feel better. So he told her “I promise my darling fairy, I’ll never let the Gobbly Goblins hurt you again.” And he was true to his word because right at that moment, the Gobbly Goblins were fighting a losing battle with the fire that devoured their shady huts while the Gobbly Goblins ran around screaming and mourning for that lost pair of shoes they just bought the day before.
So there they were, sitting by her fireplace, Bronzy held Goldie and comforted her. He felt her pain and he wanted too much to make her feel better. So he told her “I promise my darling fairy, I’ll never let the Gobbly Goblins hurt you again.” And he was true to his word because right at that moment, the Gobbly Goblins were fighting a losing battle with the fire that devoured their shady huts while the Gobbly Goblins ran around screaming and mourning for that lost pair of shoes they just bought the day before.
Stupid Goblins. Bronzy had set fire to their home with a lit cigarette. That’s what you get for building your stupid shady huts with straw and twigs.
So at the end of the day my little mustabaaas, know that the Gobbly Goblins that live in all our lives, will one day be lose their pair of shoes and will never again be able to grow nose hair.
