Magical Tipsy Toes

Boy. Annoying. Intelligent. Secrective. Brother. Smoker. Pot. Love. Smiles. Cute. Good-looking. Grins. Dimple. Gel. Boxers. Wavy. Hair. Silly. Goof. Jock. Brains. Phone. Family. Late. Guards. Son. Head gear. ‘A thing’. Bermudas. Chicken. Soft. Coffee. YSL. Black. White. Messages. Car rides. Passenger seat. Time. Seven hours. Land of dreams. Butter. Brawn. Midnight. Fourth July. Christmas. Masala. Wedding. Suit. Caps. Pink. Shirt. Friends. Personality. Gold. Shy. Want. Boxes. Ziplock. Night. Daft. Time. Ziplock. Good. Soul. Brother. Hugs. Books. Adapters. The. Shirt. Jacket. Afraid. Beer. Spices. 365. Black. Chain. Conversations. Pilot. Petrol Station. Hugo. Bed. 2008. Laughter. Prata. Socks. Heart.

Girl. Confused. Intelligent. Smiles. Nervous. Daft. Silly. White. Jacket. Words. YSL. Friends. Secret. Realization. Curly. Sister. YSL. Passenger. Pot. Family. Grins. Land of dreams. Car. Muffins. Ziplock. Time. Messages. Chain. Hut. Wedding. Nine hours. Stick. Beer. Naan. Late. Weed. Tissue. Reservoir. Friend. Laughter. Ringtone. Embarassed. Rides. Personality. Grandma’s undies. Soul. The. Seat. Funny. Night. Far. Love. Park. Root Beer. Uniform. White. Hugs. Ziplock. Butterflies. Weed. Daughter. Black. Pillow. Boss. Smell. Time. Fourth July. Gold. 2008. Conversations. ‘A thing’. Shy. Card. Smoke. Giggles. Christmas. Pretty. Blur. Now. Card. Books. Teh. Cap. Photos.

Sugar in my yogurt

“You’re a fucking disappointment. You’re digusting.”
“You make me sick, you arrogant bastard.”
“Fuck you…I’ll smash your fucking face.”
“Look at you. Just look at your fucking face.”

11pm - maybe mahjong paper

“You think I don’t know why you want to go out?”
“Who knows what you do outside, God alone knows.”
“You not ashamed of yourself you bitch.”
“You’re a whore…you’re a bitch. You think you’re a man is it, walking the streets.”
“You are a fucking ungrateful bastard. You’re sick in the head. You’re hiding something in you’re head.”

Forget towels

“You’re slow. No wonder. Low education, that’s why.”
“Something wrong in your head.”
“I will smash your face, you’re bloody rude, you bastard.”
“Fuck you, understand. You will do what I want you to do”
“Just look at yourself…I’m ashamed of you. Look at you. No wonder……….”

I know why I get frustrated and angry more every time this happens. I realise its because I move further away. In my head, I’m stepping so far away that I know I’ve reached a point that when I’m done, I’m done. I’m not bad. I know I’m not. So think all you want about me hiding something. Think about all the bad stuff I do in behind your back, putting sugar in yougurt in front of you can only mean I do worse things behind your back.

You want to know my secrets? The things in my head?

I want you to hit me so I can smash your fucking face.
I want to tell you so you will throw me out.
I want to yell at you so you’ll leave the fuck alone.
I am not your fucking outlet. Leave me the fuck alone.
You are fucking driving me crazy and I worry I don’t do something right the next day.
I’m not worth it. I know that. I’m not like them. I accepted that. Why can’t you fucking accept that too?
I will never be enough. That’s fine, someday, I promise I’ll be gone.

You want to break me?

Don’t fucking bother. I’m already broken.