brighter than sunshine
I’m standing at the crossroads. It’s getting crowded every minute. There are so many people around me. I can hear their thoughts. Some that compels me to make it better. Some that makes me want to ignore. It gets louder by the minute. I try to think of Him. I try to talk to Him. I miss having my nightly conversations with Him. I try to zone all the thoughts out. I’m angry. Angry that I can’t fix most things. I’m angry that I see you get hurt time after time. I’m angry that I feel certain things. I’m angry that I’ve actually fallen and given up wholly without any hesitation.
I’m standing at the crossroads. People are surrounding me. Their voices get louder. I’m searching for His face. I start to cry because I know I’ve been selfish. I’ve been hurtful. I shouldn’t hate coming home. I shouldn’t hate them. I’m angry with myself for not being what you needed me to be. I’m not angry with Him. I’m angry with myself. I’m scared that if He knew what went on in my head and my heart, He would be angry and think I’m not good enough. That’s why I haven’t seen Him in a couple of months.
I’m standing in the middle of the crowd. I’m trying to pay attention. But Your words just disappear. Your face is still unclear. I’m lost. I want to come apart. I want to hide. But I can’t move anywhere. So I stand there and wait. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for. But I wait.
I’m standing in the middle of the crowd. I’m not searching anymore. I’m waiting. Waiting till I hear my name from a distance. The voice sounds so familiar but the face still unclear. My heart suddenly feels at ease. A hand slips into mine. I don’t need to look to see whose it is. I already know. The crowd slowly disappears. And you grip my hand gently…and you say it’s alright. We don’t say anything, we just walk. I see Him from a distance. I smile. My heart starts to smile. All my worries and anger slides off. He smiles at me. I tell Him everything, all the things I did. All the things I said. And most all, I tell Him how sorry I am for moving so far away from Him. Your hand still in mine.
He whispers “For every step back you took away from me, I took one step towards you. You were never far away from me. I’ve always been there, you just didn’t see.â€
How silly of me to forget. All this time, all this while…right in front of me. I just didn’t see it that way.
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
