Magical Tipsy Toes

So I wake up at 5am in the morning right, I thought maybe the morning swim will do my body some good, get the blood flowing and all that shit that health magazines always rave about. I waited at the bus-stop at 6:15 for another possible morning swimmer, but there was no sign of life, so I thought to myself that maybe I should just go on my own. I mean, I am already here right?

I reach the pool, feeling a little bit irritated, but at the same time a bit excited coz I’ve never gone swimming at 6:30am in the bleeding morning alone. The key to the lockers are in the gym room, so I walk towards it and push down the handle. Stuck. I tried again. Fuck, it’s locked. Okay, so maybe it’s not the end of the world. I just leave my stuff (and that includes my shoes and socks) one of the lounging chairs, keeping in mind that I have to keep a close eye on my stuff, there may be theives around.

I dip into the pool. Bloody hell. It’s freezing. It’s alright.

Just be quick about it. “Immerse your whole body and swim” I tell myself. So I do just that and I swim like I’ve never swam before, finally starting to enjoy it and then suddenly I see these droplet things on the surface of the water. It looks like rain. Is it raining??!!? You have GOT to be shitting me. Ah just as well, I’m just about done anyway. I want to go to the sauna and warm up and feel like a Pop Tart fresh out of the toaster.

Just outside the sauna, “OUT OF ORDER, WE APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED.” Right. Nevermind, maybe I’ll just take a hot bath, that should work just as well. I just need my body to be warmed up for goodness sakes. Still dripping, I head on to the bathroom, turn on the water and let the water hit me. OH FUCK! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. The water is bloody freezing. Oh. My. Sweet. Mother. The water is cold. COLD!!! At 7:45 in the morning!!! But if I don’t shower, I’ll be smelly, so I take a quick one, cursing the heater and the swimming pool people for not heating up the water and get the hell out of there. I need to get to work. I need to have a nice cup of hot coffee while I sit at my desk and get started for work.

With that thought, I cheered up a little and gazed out the bus window and just watched as the world passed me by. I work in Ubi, so it’s quite far away, maybe I should just get some shut eye, I have had a rough morning.. ‘m not even supposed to be awake at this hour anyway. For five minutes, I close my eyes. Just five minutes. And when I wake up, the first road sign I see is Bedok. BEDOK?! I sit up. What the fuck am I doing on Bedok! Oh no. No no no no…Please tell me I’m on the right bus. I am on the right bus right? I can’t possibly have boarded the wrong bus, that’s just not possible. Okay maybe it’s a little bit possible, I’ve never taken the bus from Marina to Ubi before.

I’m screaming in my head as I get off the bus and I’m angry. This time I’ve really had it. I need to get to the office now where it’s cozy. NOW.

I alight the cab and I’ve calmed down a bit. It’s about 8:15 and nobody’s around. And the door is locked right, I mean, it always is at this time. So I just sit outside like a kid waiting for her mother to come pick her up from school and I wait. I’m reliving morning in my head and I laugh at myself, glad that I can actually find humor in all of that. Message my cousin and ask her to call me, but she’s on her way to work too so she’ll call when she gets there. Okay, I’m done with reliving the morning, I want to get into the office. I’m getting restless and I want my coffee. I need it.

“Hey Sharkbait. What’re you doing out here?” He looks at me weird and I start to tell him that the door’s locked…. “Click.” He opens the door.

What the fuck?

The door was unlocked? It Was Unlocked?! UNLOCKED?!?!!? The one day I don’t try to force my way into the office, it’s unlocked?!

Shit on me lah okay. Why not right.

8:45am in the morning everyone…the day had just begun.

I hope someone pisses on your table.