Magical Tipsy Toes

It’s sitting in the room alone.
It’s watching his expression when he says the things I don’t want to hear.
It’s hearing what he has to say without a hand in mine.
It’s slipping into my other world and pretending this world doesn’t exist.
It’s walking out of the room with all the strength I have left.
It’s deciding what to do and when to do.
It’s the constant worry about everything else that collides.
It’s the hurting that makes me think it has to happen.
It’s the wishing you’re here that makes my heart ache.
It’s wanting to see you that I believe it will go away.
It’s knowing what’s to come that the leap takes a step back.
It’s desperately wanting to sleep so maybe, just maybe in the morning when I wake up I can think a little clearer.

It’s constantly wanting to be desperately with you that the harder I wish for it, the hurting gets worse.

I wasn’t thinking when I did it. I just did. But I got stopped in time. For a while, everything else faded away….but I got stopped in time. I just thought it would have been better that way. I’d like to think I was making it easier for everyone else…but I lie. It was easier for me. I’m ashamed.

I got stopped in time.

I made a verbal contract. I hold 5 fingers up, for 5 reasons.

What happens when my 5 reasons run out. What happens when each one of them is no longer a good enough reason?