different sides
It must have started out when you walked across the field. Or was it when you walked across the room. It could have been when you walked to the table to take orders. Or it might just be the day the table decided to act up. Or was it when you went out behind for a smoke. Trying on shoes across the room, supermarket aisles, long, just for fun walks. When did it all start?
Right now, right here, in this lifetime, this time is not mine.
Because you were an accidental chance. An accident, willed to happen over and over again, at any time. Maybe just this once, this time, in the next lifetime, time will be mine. And so will you.
Is it wrong to wish it was different? To wish a child away. To wish the heart wasn’t such a bastard. To wish distance wasn’t involved. Is it wrong to wish regrets away? To want you to have all the things you speak of because nothing else is known and yet…..Is it so wrong to wonder what is to come of this? And yet to wish to never know it.
It’s not the fear of not being to let go. It isn’t. It’s realising that you weren’t holding as tight.
