I heard at Abby's you have a monkey. I wanna see it. 
mutants and sharkbait
You know how they say “to destroy your enemy, you need to know your enemy†or something like that. Ok, so I have no idea if there is such a saying. But it makes sense…I mean, you need to know your enemies before you plan and strategize before you execute the plan to whack the living daylights outta of your enemy.
I am a little edgy and feeling foolish about something that happened this morning. See, I was in a bus on the way to work right, I was minding my own business, falling asleep at window seat while the woman beside read her book. A strange and uneasy feeling came over me. I tried to ignore it but I just knew that something wasn’t right.
Five minutes later, my eyes cracked upon and from the corner of my eye, I noticed feelers of sorts. I panicked. I FUCKING PANICKED. It was the bastard creature from hell!!!
I started trembling. Seriously, trembling and I shouted…. “OH MY GOOD GAD!!!!†and I tried squirming out of my seat. The lady beside me, reading her damn book jumped out of her seat and stared at me angrily. I was still trying to push my way out of the seat…but she was still fucking sitting there.
So I whispered… “Cockroach la…please…please move..pleaseâ€
Instead of understanding and moving quickly so I could get the fuck outta the seat…she looked at me and said.. “Huh??â€
Ok, I get how by this time, people on the bus might think I was mad. I get that. But really, I didn’t give two shits.
So I shouted “CAN YOU JUST MOVE…PLEASE LA!! PLEASE!! JUST MOVE DAMNIT!!!â€
That’s when she realized I was serious and when saw the bastard creature fluttering its damn wings…so she screamed and got up and I bloody scrambled out of the seat…Then the bus driver is also shouting “ehh..Tangkap la!!†(Tangkap (malay) = catch) what the fuck?? I was thisclose to shouting back “You go fucking tangkap the shit yourself!!â€
So there I stood at the back of the bus trying to catch my breath…watching the bastard shit like a hawk…and that’s when I saw it attempting to fly…That was when I went absolutely nuts. Loco. Bloody Berserk.
“Fuck this shit!!! I’m getting outta here!†I shouted.
And I did…. I went down the very next bus stop.
Which brings me back to the point of this entry…I decided to find more facts about this bastard species….and oh bloody hell! I’m screwed. Really. The only way to get rid of this problem is for me to move to Antarctica.
Facts about cucaracha aka crazy bug that drives Sharkbait nuts
1)There are many types of cockroaches. Although only a dozen
species are pest to humans
Is it?? Is it really??? A fucking dozen
species!! They will take over the damn world one day!!
2) Cockroaches are good runners. They are one of the fastest
of all insects.
You have got to be shitting me!!
3) Cockroaches will eat anything–left-over human food, wood,
leather, cigarette butts, coffee grinds, soap, feces, fabric,
shoes, paint, the glue on the back of wallpaper, human hair,
fingernails
HUMAN HAIR??!!! Cigarette butts???!!! Kill me now please.
4) Cockroaches can hold their breath for 40 minutes.
Now you know why I keep spraying the entire can of bygone!!!
5) Roaches use their feelers, or antennae, as noses. Their sense
of smell is so great; they recognize family and friends by their
distinctive odors.
Oh how nice…lovely isn’t it. You
pieces of shit. I will kill all your family members…all of them, I
will squash them…
6) The brown-banded cockroach is also known as the TV
cockroach. It lives in the back of TV sets and other
appliances where it is warm. It feeds on the glue holding the
set together, the insulation, and other TV parts.
Damn it to hell…can you guys believe
this!! TV cockroach….they will take over the world one day.
Really.
This is it….these bastard creatures will take over the world..they will eat hair and cigarette butts and then they will evolve into mutant roaches, just like how Godzilla evolved from a fricking lizard. Mutant roaches. I need to go prepare for the war now.
