reality rips on through
Went for a walk today. A walk to air the things in my head. It would be so much easier if I could just wring out brains then maybe the thoughts would fall into place accordingly.
Imagine this.
Imagine a world in your head. A world full of cloudy, loopy, angry, frustrated, happy, smiley thoughts. Imagine all of these things in your head fighting to be heard. Imagine all the colours smashing into one another. Imagine having a little bubble in the head that’s hiding out. Hiding under all chaos. Just staying there and listening to the war. Imagine sitting alone in a room. With no one else around, just you. Just the thoughts going round and round - vicious cycle. Imagine hating the person you are. Hating the skin you wear, hating the every single part of you, wanting to tear it all to pieces. Imagine wanting to strip yourself of your own skin and watch it float away. Imagine watching your heart cut itself into tiny million pieces because it doesn’t want to be a part of your body. Imagine watching a black balloon floating high up into the sky and the need to be that balloon becomes so damn important. Imagine the dullness of it all, should it ever go away.
Before realising something is happening, colours in sky make an appearance. What you once thought was just a normal black balloon is an addition to rainbow in the sky. All of a sudden that makes the world in your head settle itself. The cloudy, loopy, angry, frustrated, happy, smiley thoughts still exist. The fighting is still going on and voices now can be heard. Louder and clearer. The room is still a lonely one. The thoughts slow down but still in a vicious cycle. The skin slowly settles in itself. The pieces you once thought were pieces no longer matter. It’s the other tiny pieces that needs patching, replacing, soothing and consoling. The black balloon ventures on up in the sky, a sky full of other colorful balloons. A particular one stands out.
And it makes sense. Or does it?
Because when I look, and I find…I know nothing else. Is that ok?
Posted by:sharkbait