Magical Tipsy Toes

Dear Sharkbait,

You have 24hrs in a day. Therefore, you should work all of these hours. You should even come back on Saturday and Sundays. This will show how loyal you are to the company. This will show how dedicated you are to your job. This will let us, management know that you are with the company goals. So what if you are handling a lot of classes and students. This is your job. You have 3 email addresses, we expect you to answer all your emails fast and efficiently. Oh, so you can only open 1 mail box at a time? But that is the system; maybe we can improve it later. When students come and see you and they want to talk to you and you are in the midst of typing the report, finish up your report and email it to us then go talk to the student. The same student complained that she waited so long for you, how come you did not attend to her/he? You should have dropped your work immediately and attend to the student. Today, the lab attendant is on medical leave, please go to the lab and help us wash test-tubes. Please help prepare labels for the chemicals. Oh, it’s not in your job scope? Its ok, you can come back on Sunday and help us.

You are sick? Doctor gave you medical leave? Yes, we give you an entitlement of 14 days medical leave. But actually, you can only take 7 in a year. If not we will fine you and send you a letter of warning. You want to take leave? When you want to take leave? By the way when the company server is down, you will need to go to the computer lab and fix it. Even though we have a department to do this..but you can help us…fix computers all. But make sure while you are doing this you have to attend to students too. Our email server may be down sometimes, but its best if you try and email the students back. Oh, its Christmas period and you celebrate Christmas but all of us celebrate Christmas. So it’s very difficult to give leave. Just come to work because students will be having classes. And they will need you around.

By the way, please bring your office keys to the headquarters tomorrow afternoon. There should be 3 keys. And if you duplicated it, we want to know. We wanted to see you in the morning but we decided we want you to meet us when you are drenched in perspiration and when you look pale and frightened so that you will probably piss in your pants when you see us. So see you in the afternoon. Ohh…please bring the gingercake that Mr Whitedog brought back from England.

From Management

Dear FOOLS

You stink. I fucking hate you. You are all mad fuckers. I do not want to work 24hrs like some other people you’ve benchmarked. I have a life. I have a family. I have friends. I enjoy my social life on weekends. I am not coming back to work on Sundays, you crazy pricks. What is wrong with you? Dedicated to the job??? I have students calling my mobile in the middle of the night because they scared they will fail their exams, because they are not sure where their classes are being held the next day in the evening. Do I entertain these calls, yes I fricking do. Do I complain, no I don’t because I enjoyED my job but you crazy fools make it so difficult.

Do I steal test-tubes??????? No I do not!!! I bloody wash these test-tubes filled with chemicals with NO protective gloves.. and the bugger steals them. I have a line of students waiting to talk to me because they have personal problems. Can I not talk to them?? Can I say, no sorry, I do not do these kinda things?? NO I DON’T. No wonder you have people who leave at lunch-time on their FIRST day on the job. Not once, not twice but almost 8-10times people have done that!!!!

So what if I didn’t go for the Company Dinner that you FORCED your staff to go. I explained it to you way before that I had tickets. FRONT ROW tickets to a BASKETBALL game. A first in this country. You still FINED me!!! What do you want from me?? I tendered before, but did you accept my resignation. NO!!! so what do you want??? Chain me to my table, why don’t you. Cut my head and use it as a mascot you mad people. Take the company pen write :Sharbait owes her life to Mentally Dysfunctional Irritants of SingaSongOfSixPence or Why don’t you use the stapler that you’ve stole from me and my body to the floor..Or you want to FINE me for buying my own stapler. I cant leave this fricking place because I have no choice…im tied. All those times I went to doctor was all fake. I bluff you see, because I love to spend money at the doctors..nothing to do go doctor la…because gad help should I ever fall ill or get a fever. When I cough and sneeze or hey..when im having cramps…all fake..because now you can buy fake mucus and I just poke my stomach to feel pain.. Christmas? That one also I bluff…I don’t celebrate it. All bluff. That’s why you come to me and ask where to buy Christmas tree and how to cook turkey. Because my previous life I was a tree cutter and then a turkey cooker.

Oh, the students do not know where their classes are although it’s stated in the timetable?? No worries, I will personally bring them to the classrooms, help them take out their books from the bag and prepared their writing materials too. When they go toilets, should I help?? You make me sick. Because I have 10 arms and it is ok for just me to handle all these classes and the paper work. Oh, so you want the keys too..No problem. Though its not 3 anymore. I have a lot of tiny pieces of the keys. I broke it.. My 10 arms went out of control.

You want gingercake. I give you the gingercake, with my life. I will give you the bloody gingercake, with rats piss.

I spit at you,
Sharkbait

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 3rd, 2005 at 4:40 pm and is filed under Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.